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A KJY Retrospective
KJY Links

Topic started by TFMPG (@ nscs26p10.remote.umass.edu) on Sun Jan 9 11:41:50 EST 2000.
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

There are numerous pages devoted to Yesudas. Many articles and interviews are available on-line. Lets collaborate in bringing all links to one place.

We will compile these discussions and make them part of the K. J. Yesudas information page in TFMP.

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Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: MS (@ 129.252.22.112) on: Wed Jan 19 17:44:54 EST 2000
  
  P.Leela:
  ---------
  
  'I sang with Yesudas and his father'
  
  I started my career as a playback singer in Tamil and Telugu films in 1946. There were no Malayalam films then. But from 1948, I started concentrating more on Malayalam films it is my mother-tongue.
  
  I think, only I have the distinction of singing duets with both Yesudas and his father, Augustin Joseph. His father was a great friend of my uncle and he used to come to our house regularly. Both my uncle and Augustin Joseph were involved with theatre then.
  
  It was only later that I met Yesudas but even before we met, I had heard a lot about the young son of Augustin Joseph who sang very well.
  
  Yesudas started singing in Malayalam films in the early '60s, I think. I lived in Madras and he was still in Cochin. It was my father who instructed the musicians to bring him here to Madras from Cochin to sing a duet with me. In fact, we sent a telegram urging him to come here. I don't remember the year but I remember the film, it was Vidhi Thanna Vilakku.
  
  After that, we have sung together for quite a few films. In those days, he used to be a regular visitor here in our house. He was like a younger brother to me -- he still is.
  
  Yesudas is one singer who has the blessing of God in abundance. Is there any other singer in India who sings both classical and film songs with such authority? There are people who sing film songs well and there are people who sing classical songs well. But nobody else has carved a name for himself or herself in both these fields except Yesudas.
  
  It is not only because of the blessings of God that he has achieved so much in the field of music but due to hard work also. If you are hard working, humble and also a believer of God, you will achieve all your goals. That is how I feel.
  
  Yes, even now, we meet and talk. We have not met much only after he left India for the US. But I still attend his kacheris and music programmes whenever he has one in Madras and he has many kacheris during the music season. Whenever I tell him that I want to listen to his kacheri or ganamela, he will send his car here to pick me up. That is the kind of love and respect that he has for me.
  
  I cannot believe that the young boy who sang with me the other day is 60 now. How time flies! I feel it was only yesterday that I sang with his father! But 60 is not an age for a singer. A musician is young as long as his voice is good and as long as he can sing well. My opinion is that if you take care of your body and voice, you can sing as long as you are alive.
  
  
  
• From: MS (@ ) on: Wed Jan 19 17:47:30 EST 2000
  
  Chemmangudi:
  -------------
  
  'Immense bhakti is what protects him'
  
  Long, long ago I used to go to the Thripunithara Music college for inspection. I not only inspected the teachers but conducted classes for the students too. And, Yesudas was a student of the college then. I must say I noticed the boy and felt that he would reach greater heights. His voice was very good, his character was very good and he sang very well. So, I had this intuition that he would achieve fame, eminence and popularity in life.
  
  Later on, he joined the Swati Thirunal Music college in Trivandrum for higher studies. It so happened that I was the principal of the college then. In those days, I used to take classes for the students regularly. Unfortunately, he didn't complete the course. Rather, he couldn't.
  
  But when he was a student, he stayed with me in my house because he was a favourite student of mine. When he asked me whether he could stay with me, I said, 'why not? You can stay here.' And he was treated like a child in the family. But he was with me only for three to four months.
  
  All of a sudden, he fell ill one day. He had very high fever and slowly rashes started appearing on his body. He had caught chicken pox. So, I asked him to go home instead of getting admitted to a hospital in Trivandrum. I felt that would be better because he didn't have anybody else there.
  
  He went home but did not come back to complete his course. I think it was only after that Goddess Mahalakshmi blessed him. From then onwards, his rise began and now he has reached a very high position in the field of music.
  
  Even after he became very popular, I have met him several times and I feel, he still is a very humble and lovable human being. Whenever I needed a car to go somewhere, I had to only call him. He would immediately send a vehicle.
  
  As I cannot sit for a long time in one place, I don't generally go to kacheris but I have heard some of his kacheris. He sings very well. Like there are differences between various human beings, there are differences in the way people sing too. But rasikas like and enjoy the way Yesudas sings. People listen to him and they feel so happy listening to him. Yesudas gets the maximum crowd for his kacheris.
  
  Undoubtedly, it was his guru Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar who was responsible for Yesudas getting so much respect in the field of classical music. And, his bhakti for Chembai is incredible. This immense bhakti is what protects him and guards him.
  
  I will tell you why he has achieved so much in life. He not only has daiva bhakti but guru bhakti also. And he also is a very good human being. He has many admirable good qualities in him. Let me pray to God that he achieve more and more in life. Now he is celebrating his shastipoorthi; let him also get to celebrate his sathabhishekam. I also pray to God that let him sing even when he is 100 years old!
  
  
  
• From: MS (@ 129.252.22.112) on: Wed Jan 19 17:50:34 EST 2000
  
  Sujaatha:
  ----------
  
  'He was a part of my growing up years'
  
  As a small child, I was a member of Kalabhavan, one of the foremost cultural organisations in Kerala. And I used to participate in bala ganamelas organised by Kalabhavan from the age of eight.
  
  Dasettan (Yesudas), who was the director of Kalabhavan, was one of the judges in a music competition organised by them sometime in 1972 and I was one of the participants. I was so excited at the prospect of singing in front of him. I was only nine then but I admired and adored him such a lot that I considered it a fortune to sing in front of him.
  
  I was on stage and was about to sing. Then, suddenly somebody said, since I was one of the members of Kalabhavan, I could not participate. The disappointment was such that I stood there and started crying. Later, after I came down, still sobbing, Dasettan came near me and said, "Don't cry. One day, uncle will come and listen to your song."
  
  A few days later, Dasettan's flight got delayed and he had to be there at the airport for a long time. Emil, who was Dasettan's guitarist and the person who guided the bala ganamela asked Dasettan whether he wanted to listen to the girl who cried. Emil knew that our house was very close to the airport. It seems Dasettan immediately agreed.
  
  When Emil entered our house with Dasettan, we were literally stunned. Yesudas was visiting us! We couldn't believe our eyes. It was like a dream come true for all of us. He then asked me to sing songs and I did so very gladly. I think I went on singing one song after another. Then both of us sang together and he gave a lot of advice too.
  
  I was too small to understand all that. But I listened to him ardently. After all, it was Yesudas who was giving me advice!
  
  It was in 1973, when I was 10, that I was first called to participate in a ganamela of his. I had been singing in bala ganamelas but I had no intention to take up music as a profession then. In fact, most of my relatives were dead against me singing.
  
  Still, my first stage programme with Yesudas happened. I don't know what was in my mind then. I am sure I was excited. But I do remember that I had collected an autograph from him! Later I cut it from the book and pasted it in my album and it is still there in my album.
  
  After the first programme, we started singing at several places. I still cannot believe that I was so fortunate. They used to describe our programmes as Yesudas-Sujatha ganamela. God! Yesudas and Sujatha together in one breath! I really am lucky to have sung with him, a legend, at such a young age! Every month, we used to have 10-12 programmes in those days. Can you believe both of us have together done more than 3000 programmes?
  
  I didn't realise how time passed. After school, I went to college but I continued singing with Dasettan. I must admit my attendance in both school and college was very poor. I don't think I was treated differently by my friends because I sang with Yesudas.
  
  I do not know how to describe Dasettan as a singer. As far as music is concerned, I feel, he is the ultimate. More than anything else, he was a part of my growing up years. Remember I have been singing with him from the age of 10. In those days, we used to travel such a lot together. If we were performing in Bombay today, the next day it would be Cochin and the next, Pune. We had to travel in car too to several places. I still remember sleeping on his lap!
  
  That was how I grew up. But he was very strict with me as he considered me his responsibility -- perhaps, he was stricter than a parent. I had lost my father when I was just two.
  
  Even my marriage was arranged by him. My husband Mohan is Dasettan's close friend's son and he was at the wedding like a family member. I was very particular that he should not sing for my wedding. I wanted him to be there as a family member, that's all.
  
  When we were singing, it was only a hobby for me. I had no intention to take up music as a profession and Dasettan was very angry with me for having such an attitude. He used to tell me, 'you should come to Madras, learn music and then start singing. But here you are, studying Economics!'
  
  But later on, a few years after my marriage, I decided to take up music seriously. And he was so happy then. When I got my first award, the first thing I did was to call Dasettan in US and told him the news. Whatever I have achieved today, whatever I am today, it is all because of him. If not for Dasettan, I don't think I would have become a playback singer at all.
  
  
  
• From: MS (@ 129.252.22.112) on: Wed Jan 19 17:53:54 EST 2000
  
  Chembai sreenivaasan:
  -----------------------
  
  'Yesudas was more special to my father than anybody else'
  
  I still remember my father was performing pooja when Yesudas first came to our house along with famous Carnatic musicians Jaya-Vijaya.
  
  Jaya-Vijaya were disciples of my father and they brought Yesudas to our house because Yesudas had told them about his strong desire to be Chembai's sishya. This incident took place three decades ago.
  
  The three of them stood outside, waiting for my father to finish the pooja. Yesudas was very well known to all those who listened to Malayalam songs. Naturally the news of Yesudas's arrival spread like wildfire. All my family members came out to see him and after sometime, there were people from the neighbourhood also standing near the compound wall to have a look at him!
  
  But my father had no knowledge of films or film songs. Jaya-Vijaya told my father that he wanted to learn sangeetham from him. My father asked his name. He said, Yesudas. Immediately father said, 'God's name. Good!' Then he asked Das to sing a song and he sang Vaadapi ganapathim bhaje. My father was so impressed with his sweet voice that he said, 'it has been ages since I heard a voice like this.'
  
  Thus he became a disciple of my father. After that, he used to come regularly to our house for a month. And, in that one month, I don't know how Das became so special to my father -- he was more special to him than anybody else from the family. So many people have learnt music from him but he never had such an unusual, strong and loving relationship with any of his sishyas. Perhaps, they were father and son in their previous births! You cannot describe their relationship as that of a guru and a sishya; they were like father and son, so strong and complete was the bond between them.
  
  I think it was in 1972 or 1973 that somebody from Bombay asked Das whether he could sing with Chembai at the Shanmukhananda Hall. Das was horrified. 'How can I sing with such a great man? I have not yet reached that level. But if he agrees, my life is fulfilled.' They made the same request to my father and he was more than willing to sing with Das. 'I will decide whether he can sing with me or not. We are going to sing together,' he insisted.
  
  And, can you believe that people still talk about that kacheri? Tickets were sold well in advance and in 'black' too, for thousand rupees! Puritans were very sceptical about Das's ability to sing with Chembai but Das proved all of them wrong. They said, 'after all, he is a playback singer, what does he know about classical music?' In fact, many people went to see Das falter and fail but they did not succeed. The cassette and CD of that kacheri is very popular even now.
  
  After that, they sang together at 10-15 places. The most famous among them was at Guruvayoor. It is quite well known in Kerala that the temple authorities at Guruvayoor did not let Das enter the temple, as he is a non-Hindu. When my father came to know that his disciple was denied entry, he took him to a dilapidated, small temple in the nearby area and told him, 'this is also Parthasarathy. You can pray there.' Next day, it was big news in all the Malayalam newspapers that Chembai took Yesudas to a temple! You should see the same temple now. It is as big as Guruvayoor.
  
  Then my father and Das sang together in front of the Guruvayoor temple. Hours before the kacheri itself, the ground was jam-packed with people. There were around 50,000 people that day to listen to them sing.
  
  We have a Chembai festival at our temple in Chembai every year. In 1973, when people asked my father whether he would bring Yesudas to sing there, my father said, why not? So, Das sang at our festival in 1973.
  
  Next year my father died but ever since Das has been singing there, without any break. Sometimes, he comes to India from the US just for this purpose and goes back after the kacheri. This gesture shows how much love and respect he has for his guru.
  
  
  
• From: MS (@ 129.252.22.112) on: Wed Jan 19 18:02:46 EST 2000
  
  'I am struggling to find answers...'
  - Yesudas' Interview
  
  Keralites generally do not look up to or praise anyone blindly. Yesudas is the only exception to the rule, I think. He has been adored, idolised and respected by people of all ages in Kerala for nearly four decades.
  

  
  There are not many in the state who do not know his inspiring and courageous life story. People see a kind of romanticism in the stories of his struggle to pay school and college fees, his fight against hunger, the insults that he had to face and the pains that he had to undergo due to poverty. His life story has become legendary in Kerala.
  

  
  His rise to fame was instant from the very first song he sang in 1961 for the Malayalam film, Kaalppadukal under the music direction of M B Srinivas. Nearly four decades have passed, thousands of songs are there in his golden voice, still his passion and devotion for music have not diminished.
  

  
  He is the only playback singer in India who has won seven National awards (in 1973, 1974, 1977, 1983, 1988, 1992 and 1994). Five of these awards are for his songs in Malayalam and one each for Telugu and Hindi.
  

  
  He could not continue his studies at the Swati Thirunal Music College in Thiruvananthapuram due to poverty, but in the late '60s, he became a disciple of the legendary Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar and started giving Carnatic kacheris along with his guru.
  

  
  Even the hardcore puritans were forced to accept him after he became the most favourite sishya of Chembai. And, today he is the only musician who has earned a name in both light music and classical music.
  

  
  It is difficult to believe that the man behind the romantic voice turned 60 this Januray 10. Shobha Warrier met the singer just after his birthday.
  

  
  
  You have just come back from Mookambika temple after celebrating your 60th birthday. I have read that you have been celebrating your birthday at the temple for the last three decades. Why do you go there? To worship Goddess Saraswathi?
  

  
  
  When I first went there, it was a very, very quiet and tranquil place. It was not at all crowded and that was what I liked about the place as I generally avoid crowded places. I used to go regularly to Sabarimala for makara sankranti and on my way to Sabarimala, I also went to Mookambika. It so happened that my birthday fell at that time (on January 10). And, it was not to celebrate my birthday that I went there, as I never used to celebrate birthdays. What is so special about birthdays? All these years, there were no birthday celebrations for me. So, why should I do that all of a sudden?
  

  
  
  But the whole of Kerala is celebrating your 60th birthday. All the newspapers and magazines have come out with specials and even the state government is felicitating you (on January 18)
  

  
  I can't do anything about it. They wanted to do it out of their love for me. It makes me happy too because they feel happy to wish me. I really am thankful to all those loving people. But I don't like loud and ostentatious birthday celebrations. So, I used to spend a very quiet and private day with only a handful of people at Mookambika.
  

  
  
  I have read in the papers that thousands of people assembled there to wish you this year.
  

  
  Yes, it is true. But it used to be a quiet affair till last year. I go there to mediate in front of Goddess Saraswathi. As you know, Saraswathi is the Goddess of knowledge and music. You have Lakshmi and Devi also there at the temple. After attending all the three poojas, I would sing at the Saraswathi mandapam for sometime at night. It never used to be a concert but just an offering to the Goddess. It had a recharging effect on me.
  

  
  There are three or four such places where I can recharge my batteries. There is a small chapel near my birthplace in Cochin. My father first took me there when I was 12 and I sang there. Ever since, I have been singing at the chapel every year, without any break. Another two occasions that I would not like to miss are the Chembai festival and the Thiayagaraja
  festival. It is at these four places that I get to recharge my batteries.
  
  What do you experience when you sing at these temple festivals?
  

  
  I don't go to temples to fulfil any desire of mine. Yes, earlier, I too went to temples to pray so that inconsequential and silly desires of mine are fulfilled. But I outgrew all that. Soon I realised that we do not have to demand anything from God. He knows what to do, what to give and what not to give. So, I only plead to Him to guide me properly.
  

  
  
  What desires did you have when you were young?
  

  
  I didn't have many desires even then too. I have got more than I deserve. So, how can I desire for more? I came from Cochin to Madras with just Rs 16 in my hand. So, whatever I have got now, whatever God has bestowed upon me is only bonus!
  

  
  
  You are 60 now. Do you ever become reflective and look back?
  

  
  You cannot avoid looking back. In fact, you can only look back. I have always felt that we cannot plan anything about our future, as our future is not in our hands. So, you should not yearn for anything. You cannot predict what will happen to you the very next moment. If you are so uncertain about the next moment itself, how can you make long term plans for your life? Many argue and ask me, if God has decided our future, what is the point in us working for anything or planing anything in life?
  

  
  But the reality is you plan many things for yourself and feel happy about them. But ultimately what is destined to happen will happen. I sense and feel and see a power behind all of us and all the happenings. I rever this supreme power, this sakthi as God.
  

  
  
  Is God a driving force for you?
  

  
  Yes, that driving force makes you think, ponder and react to situations. Like Bhagavat Gita says, I (God) am the right and the wrong. So, nothing is in our hands. God, the ultimate driving force drives you to do something and also forces you not to do certain things.
  

  
  
  Does that mean we have no power in the course of our own life? Doesn't that make a man helpless?
  

  
  No. It is very difficult to surrender your life to the iltimate power. It is very difficult to reach that level because all of us are struggling to achieve many things in life. I too am struggling to find answers to several of my questions. If you can surrender your life to Him completely, you will be at peace with yourself. Nothing, I mean nothing, will affect you then. But we cannot do that.
  

  
  Let me ask you. What can you do if a flood comes and washes away every little possession of yours? Is it in your power to stop a lightning, a flood or an earthquake? A flood may come and wash all of us away, irrespective of the religion and caste you belong to. You will be lost in the floods even if you are a human being or an elephant or a cow or even a worm. When you are caught in such a situation, you are utterly helpless. So, I see a supreme power controlling and negotiating the course of every life and every action.
  

  
  You feel humble when you think of the supreme power and his power in srishti, sthithi and samharam. We feel stupid when we question srishti, sthithi and samharam as we have no control or power over these three events. So, we shouldn't ask for anything from God for He knows what you want and what is best for you.
  

  
  
  When you move ahead believing in Him and His power, small worries and pains will not affect you and you will rise above such insignificant and trivial feelings. Do we have any control over our birth and death? No. We are born without us asking for and one day we will die also. Some people reach such a higher plane that nothing in this mundane world
  affects them. But it is very difficult to reach that plane.
  

  
  Now, when I look back, I feel I was made to undergo all the miseries and agonies so that I grew as a person. They were for my own good and my own happiness and contentment.
  

  
  
  But when you suffered, could you rationalise? Didn't you feel the pain then?
  

  
  Of course, I felt the pain then. After all, I am human. Even now I experience pain and unhappiness. I have not yet reached a level so that I can rationalise the pains and sufferings, though I am trying very hard. But when I look back and think of what I had undergone once, I don't feel anything. I am so happy now. God has blessed me tremendously. The very thought that so many people love me, care for me and pray for me makes me so humble and happy. I do not know how to express my feelings. It is not to my credit that I receive so much of love now; it is all because of that supreme power that I am blessed with so much love.
  

  
  
  Are you at peace with yourself now?
  

  
  Yes. It is the unwanted desires that destroy your peace of mind. If you can curb your desires, you will be at peace with yourself. But it is not easy.
  

  
  
  Was it a conscious effort on your part to curb desires?
  

  
  Meditation helps you control your desires. Meditation helps you believe in God and His powers. We only think of our own anguish, our own miseries and our own sorrow. But we are the only people who suffer and feel the pain. If you read the works of great thinkers and philosophers, you will understand that what a small fry you are in this world, and
  how trivial and insignificant your pains are. Then, you feel that you are really blessed.
  

  
  
  In your earlier days, you had to bear a lot of pain and insults...
  

  
  It is true. In those days, it was just impossible for a person from a Christian family to make a living out of classical music. Still, my father let me learn music because he was as fond of music as I was. A Christian had no chance at all to sing in the temples then. Even now, it is difficult in Kerala but not so in Tamil Nadu. There are places like the Guruvayoor temple, the Thripunithara temple and the Padmanabha swamy temple where I cannot go in and sing. I have not gone to
  these places and I have no desire to go. Why should I go to a place where I am not wanted?
  

  
  My father was a singer and a drama artiste and people called him Bhagavathar. In those days, many people used to ask my father, 'Bhagavathare, why do you want to teach your son music? What will he do after learning music? Where will he sing?' My father never responded to those questions, he just smiled. He knew my passion and devotion lay only in music.
  

  
  When I was in school itself, he fell ill and could not give my fees, which was five rupees then. I was so desperate that I went to the bishop and apprised him of the situation, but he sent me away. I am not criticising him now. I am grateful to him for making me strong.
  

  
  
  The incident must have given you strength and determination to face life more courageously, isn't it?..
  

  
  Yes. I became courageous and strong. But I never felt like taking revenge on anyone. I didn't want to hurt anyone.
  

  
  
  You wanted to prove yourself...
  

  
  Yes, I wanted to prove myself but not at the expense of others. Who made me go and meet the bishop? Who made the bishop refuse the money? How did I become more determined? It is all because of the supreme power. Yes, there is a scriptwriter above who writes the scripts for all our lives.
  

  
  
  Didn't you feel angry towards the person then?
  

  
  Of course, I did. I am a human being and I was young. When I begged for five rupees, he said, what do you want to do after learning music? He didn't give me the money. Somehow I struggled and managed to collect the amount and paid the fees. Later too, I had to face a lot of adversities in life. My life was full of grief and pain; sadness was the only emotion I felt then.
  

  
  There was a teacher in my music school who enjoyed tormenting me all the time. He did that only because I was a Christian. 'What's this mappilah (mappilah in central Kerala is a Christian) doing in a music school?' he used to ask and I felt so sad and unwanted in those days.
  

  
  
  What was the outlet for your sadness in those days?
  

  
  
  I cried. What else could a little fellow do? I cried such a lot in those days that I don't have any tears left in my eyes now (laughs)! I do not know how much I struggled and suffered then. Now when I look back, I feel that particular teacher was also a reason for my being so strong and determined in my pursuit of music.
  

  
  Otherwise, I would not have worked with so much perseverance. Have you seen how goldsmiths work on gold? They heat it till it is red and then strike very hard on it. With each thrashing, it shines more and more...Each whipping made me more determined. I did not feel angry or vengeful against them. I was only sad and upset. Now I feel if I were not as angry and
  furious, I would not have worked so hard.
  

  
  Do you know when I cried the most? The school authorities chose me as the best student at the end of the year and the best student would sing in front of the students and teachers. When I was asked to sing, the first thing I did was to seek the blessings of all the teachers. When I reached this particular teacher, he just grumbled satirically and refused to bless me. I just could not bear his indifference and rejection of me, so I stood there and burst into tears. The shock was too much for a small boy to put up with.
  

  
  But there was this lady teacher, Padma -- she taught me Sanskrit, paid my fees sometimes and even gave me food when I was starving -- who saw this teacher's behaviour. She was so furious that she went and complained to the principal who also liked me immensely. The principal came and stood near me and shouted, 'rascal!' When I heard him call me rascal, I once again burst into tears. He had never called me that. But the very next moment, he said, 'I am with you. Don't worry. Go ahead and sing. You need courage.' His words sent a lightning through my body and I went to the stage and sang.
  

  
  Looking back, I feel it is because of his encouraging words and the blessings of all my gurus that I have reached somewhere in life. But the teacher who abused me is the reason for my determination.
  

  
  
  Did you meet that teacher again?
  

  
  Of course. But he was very good to me later!
  

  
  
  Was it only because you were born in a Christian family that you had to face all those impediments while pursuing classical music?
  

  
  I do not know how to describe the happenings in my life. They baffle me sometimes. To me, religion is only a path to move on and travel in life, and not the ultimate point. Not only religion, even languages acted as hurdles in my life. When I started singing in Tamil, people criticised my pronunciation. When I sang in Hindi, I was criticised again. To get recognition had been very difficult for me. Rivers flow smoothly from the north, from the Himalayas down. But for a river to flow from Kerala towards the Himalayas is very, very difficult!
  

  
  
  You started playback singing in 1961 but by the end of the 1960s, you started learning classical music again from Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar. Was it because you could not complete your studies that you wanted to pursue it again?
  

  
  Actually, I started my first classical lessons at the age of five and I never stopped. I could not take continuous lessons when I started singing in films. But I never lost the link with classical music because in those days, film music was very, very close to classical music.
  

  
  The compositions of Devarajan master, Dakshinamoorthy Swamy and Raghavan master were very, very close to classical music. Their songs were more like keerthanas. So, I was lucky to have sung film songs in those days. My classical music would have perished if I was not born in Kerala and if I had not sung in the '60s.
  

  
  
  You were learning Carnatic music first in a music school and then in a music college and you wanted to pursue it, but ended up singing in films. Did you ever regret this transition?
  

  
  No, I can never criticise film music. Recently when I was talking to the Tamil Isai Sangam, I told them that I have two mothers, the mother who bore me -- Carnatic music -- and the mother who brought me up -- film music. If I didn't have my foster mother, I would have died of starvation. So, I can never forget my foster mother and it was she who taught me how to modulate my voice, how to pronounce words properly.
  

  
  
  Playback singing also made you popular.
  

  
  Yes. People became very inquisitive about my classical singing. That could be why people come to listen to me. I feel very sad because there are many, many great musicians who are much more knowledgeable than I am, but they do not get a chance to sing in kacheris. Their knowledge and ability is so high that many people find it difficult to understand them. So, they have no kacheris or audience.
  

  
  I feel very sad for them but what can I do? I feel helpless. Yes, in the earlier days, many people came to my kacheris because my name was familiar to them. But after the first experience, they might have liked my kacheris too. Otherwise, they wouldn't have come again. I did not choose pure classical songs for my kacheris but preferred those compositions which can give happiness and satisfaction to the listeners. Many may say that I am not a traditional singer.
  

  
  
  Puritans of Carnatic music criticise you a lot.
  

  
  Let them. I am not worried or perturbed. People come to listen to my kacheris in large numbers. I do not know what gives them happiness but they do come to my kacheris and remain there till it is over. They do not walk away in between. That is why I say I am blessed.
  

  
  
  
  A legend like Chembai helped me by announcing to the crowd that I was his sishya. Many people were against Chembai swamy's decision but there were many who accepted it wholeheartedly too. So, I feel it is His wish that I get a good name in Carnatic music as well.
  

  
  In the case of Semmangudi swamy also, I could stay with him for a year. Even though I stayed in the car shed, I was near him. That also was a blessing.
  

  
  There is a section of people who ask me not to sing film music but another group tells me not to stop playback singing. Whom should I listen to? I select and try to sing only good songs, but sometimes I am forced to sing several other compositions too. Otherwise, I should leave everything and go to a small place like Thiagaraja Swamigal did.
  

  
  
  Did you ever think of going away?
  

  
  I reflect a lot. But I can't run away like Swamigal because I have three children. Is it not my responsibility to see that they are well settled in life?
  

  
  
  Carnatic music is often described as a huge ocean. How do you feel searching for something in the ocean?
  

  
  Yes, Carnatic music is like an ocean. But there are a lot of unwanted things in the ocean, you have to pick only the pearls and the corals from the rubbish. Pearls and corals are not available everywhere, you have to search for them. In Carnatic music, there are 72 scales and 32,000 janya ragas and only a few know all the 32,000 janya ragas. I do not know whether anybody knows the names of all these ragas. So, I feel, as musicians, we should give only what gives enjoyment and happiness to the listeners. People do not enjoy all these 72 scales. They enjoy ragas like a kalyani, a shankarabharanam, a thodi or anada bhairavi...
  

  
  
  But when you try to please the ordinary public, the puritans may disagree with you and your choice of simple and popular ragas.
  

  
  Yes, they do not agree with me. For example, the ragas we choose for a kacheri here in a sabha and a kacheri in a temple are different. Only knowledgeable people come to listen to a kacheri in a sabha but all kinds of people come to the temple festivals. We change the choice of ragas according to the place where we are performing. You should learn to understand the minds of the people. That is where the success of a singer lies.
  

  
  I heard this story recently. On seeing the hall almost empty, a sishya of the great M D Ramanathan sir told him, 'sir, there are not many people in the hall.' The unperturbed Ramanathan sir remarked, 'so what? I am singing for myself.' Ha! What a great artiste he is! I do not know when I will be able to reach that level. I cannot even think of such an eventuality. But I am preparing myself for it, to sing for myself, my own satisfaction and enjoyment. People tell me that when I sing, I am fully engrossed in the song. Yes, when I sing, I do not think of the people in front of me, I just close my eyes and sing.
  

  
  
  But their appreciation and presence are important to you, aren't they?
  

  
  Yes, they are. At least now. If not, why should I sing in concerts?
  

  
  
  The other day, in one of your kacheris here in Madras, you requested the crowd to pray for the hostages (of the hijacked Indian Airlines plane). Of late, you have started involving yourself in social issues...
  

  
  I didn't do it consciously. I wanted to pray for those innocent people. When I requested, all those who assembled at the Ayyappa temple sat silently and prayed for them. Not only we, so many people prayed for the safety of the hostages and finally nothing untoward happened. The hijackers are our brothers, and the hostages are also our brothers, and due to some misunderstanding, such things happen.
  

  
  
  It must be very disturbing for you when people fight a lot in the name of God. When you first started visiting temples, you had to face a lot of opposition. Don't you feel intolerance has increased now?
  

  
  Yes. I go to temples as well as churches. I am proud that God created me like this. I feel all these skirmishes in the name of religion are due to ignorance. The so-called believers feel that only they are right and there is only one God and that is their God. Do you think God has any religion?
  

  
  Fanaticism is there in all the religions. Let us not talk about that. I still remember one incident that happened when I was seven or so. In our churches, we were told that only Christians went to heaven. That was the first shock I received in my life. I was horrified and felt sad for my Hindu and Muslim friends. I asked my father why it was so. My father said, 'that's a good question. Keep asking the question again and again to yourself. You will get an answer one day.'
  

  
  So many things happened in my life. When I was a music student in Thripunithara, great musicians used to come and give concerts in the temple premises. I longed to go inside and listen to them, but I was not allowed to enter the temple premises. Even today, I have not gone inside the temple. Later on, there was a lot of opposition in Kerala when I
  sang certain songs, I was denied entry at Guruvayoor -- all these incidents disturbed me.
  

  
  One day I heard about the Ayyappa cult in Sabarimala and I was fascinated by the philosophy of Advaitham and dwaitham in the cult. So, I wrote to the temple authorities asking them whether I could go there. Immediately I got a response from them. The most beautiful aspect of Sabarimala is that irrespective of the religion or caste you belong to,
  you can go there.
  

  
  We say, after death, our athma will be one with the paramathma but in Sabarimala, you become one with the God, as another Ayyappa. There is no other God who gives his own name to all his bhaktas.
  

  
  
  You have achieved so much in life. Are you attached to any of these achievements? I mean, the name, fame, the material possessions?
  

  
  I don't know whether I am attached to the things that you have mentioned or not, but they make my life blissful. I cannot deny that. I have not yet reached a level where I feel detached from these pleasures. How can I say I am detached when I live amongst all these comforts? Yes, more than anything, my music is my life. And I am willing to sacrifice everything for music. Music is like a tapasya to me.
  

  
  

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