A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[hamid]

A man was caught bathing naked at the Courtrallam water falls. When enquired, he said that he acted according to the instructions written on the board. And the instruction read, " Ingu jattiyudan kulikka koodadhu "

nalla vaela naan kutraalam poanaboathu antha board kannula padala

nalla vela kutraalam makkal thappichaanga

[rangan_08]

Noticed the below " (bit) notice " in a city bus :

" Neengal uyaramaga valara venduma ?

Growth your height "


I really appreciate the " company " " owner's " drive (since it was a bus ( mokka) ) to promote his product.

But andha dealing enakku pudichirukku.

[NOV]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. One from U.S., another from India and the third, from China.


They go with a White House official to examine the fence.


The U.S. contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring.


Then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".


The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"


The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence."

[padmanabha]

Manure... An interesting fact


Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship

and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.




It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!






Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.






Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.

[sathya_1979]

**********************************************
Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated
Tintumon: Dosa
**********************************************
Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Change”, Is your father a Beggar ??
**********************************************
A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
tintumon: “JAMBALAKDI PAMBA”
professor: “i dont understand anything”
tintumon: “same 2 you”
**********************************************
Tintumon: Im sleep with dad last night
Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night
.
.
Tintumon: so.. you came after I slept..?
**********************************************
Father to Tintumon: Why can't you not think every woman as your mother?
Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?
**********************************************
To be is to do(Socrates)
To do is to be(Plato)
To be or not to be(Shakespeare)
Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..
**********************************************
Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ″ ?
Ramu : Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ″ ?
Tintumon : “Filomina”
**********************************************
Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji’s son?
Tintumon: Dineshan
Teacher :Why?????
Tintumon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of di-neshan
**********************************************

[ksen]

[NOV]

Two donkeys were talking about their owners. The first one said, "My owner is so harassing, he beats me often."

Second donkey: Why do not you leave your owner?

First donkey: I was thinking about the same. But, he has a very good looking daughter. And, whenever she does some mischievous acts, he says that he will get her married to some donkey?and, I am just waiting for that to happen.

[Lambretta]

Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Change”, Is your father a Beggar ??

Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ″ ?
Ramu : Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ″ ?
Tintumon : “Filomina”

These 2 r classic, hilarious!!

[NOV]

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.

Wife replied: 'Your Horse just phoned!!! '

[ksen]