THE TRANSITION

[Shakthiprabha.]

haiyoooo...

[Shakthiprabha.]

Good one sc.

The story reminds us very much of the fact..

"easy to advice"

[southiecook]

Good one sc.

The story reminds us very much of the fact..

"easy to advice"

Thanks, SP !!

[ramky]

southiecook : bit of contradiction remains as yet unexplained - the very people who caused Jeeva to change his suicidal intentions have been reported as committing mass suicide ! hope the reason for their act is convincingly explained in future episodes. still, nice twist in the tale . do continue .

[Querida]

well SC, i've read your part two and left it for awhile cause i thought with part three i would understand more...the abrupt actions are quite disturbing and maybe that is what you are trying to get across...as readers it is unsettling to be jerked here and there while not being told why such and such a thing happen...the reason...cause we all crave reason...we hate things that are senseless....this is what i got from my reading...i do apologize if this is contradictory to what you hoped to acheive, though i do think you deserve praise for conveying quite a difficult idea....looking forward to more.

[southiecook]

southiecook : bit of contradiction remains as yet unexplained - the very people who caused Jeeva to change his suicidal intentions have been reported as committing mass suicide ! hope the reason for their act is convincingly explained in future episodes. still, nice twist in the tale . do continue .

Hmmmm....no more episodes, Ramky....this is the end...

[southiecook]

well SC, i've read your part two and left it for awhile cause i thought with part three i would understand more...the abrupt actions are quite disturbing and maybe that is what you are trying to get across...as readers it is unsettling to be jerked here and there while not being told why such and such a thing happen...the reason...cause we all crave reason...we hate things that are senseless....this is what i got from my reading...i do apologize if this is contradictory to what you hoped to acheive, though i do think you deserve praise for conveying quite a difficult idea....looking forward to more.

Thank you very much Querida, for your detailed comments. I know it is an abrupt end and the story is not a realistic one. But, the story which came in my mind was like that and I did not want to change it.

I really wanted to get responses from readers upon receiving such stories.

It is not an idea/theory, it is just a 'story', a 'made-up story'.

Also, you all, as readers, have the complete freedom & flexibility to interpret it according to your imagination.

Cheers and thanks again!

[crazy]

story end?!

[P_R]

Hi SC,

managed to read your story only today.It made pretty good reading.

Nice opening. You managed to keep it quite intriguing. The last line of the first paragraph was great in its ease of contrast. You have your reader glued from there.

The old man's familiar interest in Jeeva does seem a bit sudden and quick, but you have defended it well in saying how Jeeva did look and feel vulnerable. From that to the 'transition' it seemed a bit quick in the 2-3 pagraphs. IMO you could have dealt with his sorrow a little longer (even if you don't reveal any reasons), it would have got us more familiar with Jeeva's mood.

I liked some very nice lines connecting situations and expressions:
But time flew past him - just like Kiran. Special congratulations for your complete lack of anxiety to tie all threads up. It is the strong point of the story. This makes the twist abrupt and brutal and unsettles everyone. Good job.

IMO the story could have been a little longer (not the twist, that's just right in length). We (ok, I), would have gotten to know Jeeva and more importantly the old man better. This would have been easier to empathize with them and feel the transition and shock better.

Hope to read more of yours.

cheers
Prabhu

[southiecook]

PR, many thanks for your explanatory comments!

After seeing the responses, I too felt like I should have showed a little more of Jeeva's self and the story got a bit fast forwarded in the middle. Will definitely remember your points while writing in future.

Thanks again for understanding Jeeva aka Life, Kiran aka Hope aka the two-way catalyst and the fellow passengers aka nameless lives !!!