Home   Forum   Wiki   Notes   Register   FAQ   Sitemap   About Us   Contact Us  

Politeness and this forum

Topic started by Ramki (@ cs101.cs.wmich.edu) on Fri Oct 30 21:41:00 EST 1998.
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

They look like antonyms to me.THe forum,which had once been a playground of fun filled people,happniess,joy is now reduced to hatred,personal and verbal attacks.The attitude of certain people has literally driven some of our regulars here.Where are we heading to?If this trend continues i dont think this forum will be ever used for the main purpose it was created. We are here to talk about music,varieties of music,its creators,irrespective of who it is ,listeners.This forum is accessed and read throughout the world. SHouldnt we,people who come from prestigious universities,who are woring in respectable positions,show minimal politeness in
what we speak and what we write.But whats happening here is worse than 'kuzhaiyadi sandai'.I really feel ashamed and hurt to see this. SOme of us are really brutal.I dont want to cite examples,wait what the heck,once a srikanth had posted that he wanted to cut the throat of SUresh peters.I was shocked and was very sad to read that.You need not have to give respect for his talent but atleast he deserves some respect as a human being.WHat if suresh peter also reads the forum??Wouldnt he be hurt?If you dont like
an artist,keep it to yourself or say it diplomatically. We are not barbarians,we are all educated,talented human beings.Let us not slay each other with words.
Stop comparing people.Stop comapiring their works.
If you cant ,sorry to say,but stop coming here.

Ravi sorry for creating a melodramatic thread,but by the look of things here i guess you might even consider putting this thread in permanent section:)

---

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: cram (@ 206.103.12.102) on: Mon Nov 2 04:48:58 EST 1998
  
  my gawd, a whole committee seems to be at work here! srinath, u and i are lone voices in the wilderness. as i have already mentioned, there are unwritten rules here and everyone who wants to keep DF a place for clean fun adheres to them. why this need to impose a set of guidelines; too many posters are offering too many ideas to suffocate the atmo here. methinks there is an ingrained tendency to regulate at work here.
  once again, i appeal, let's not talk of laying down rules of who should do what and what not. people keep reiterating that Dfers are mature persons. if u truly believe that's the case, the need for rules and regulations does not arise at all.
  IMHO, let's stop moaning, and start partying.
  
  
• From: YGeetha (@ gatekeeper.oracle.co.uk) on: Mon Nov 2 10:16:00 EST 1998
  
  Viswa: Please tell me the URL of the Anandha Vikatan artice that mentioned this DF.....I'm very interested in reading it. Thanks in advance.
  
  
• From: Srinath (@ ss04.nc.us.ibm.com) on: Mon Nov 2 10:34:00 EST 1998
  
  cram:
  There seems to be some confusion between what I am trying to say and what people think I am trying to say. I hope my next statement will clarify my stance better !
  
  Murali Sankar:
  I *know* I could have used the same friendly tone in all my postings. My previous agressive postings were not uncontrolled in any way. I deliberately kept them that way because I wanted to put across the point that postings like mine should not be misinterpreted as indecent and they should not be considered unacceptable. Like cram, I too feel that that would take the zing out DF.
  
  Through trial and error, we find out the tolerance levels of other people in the forum. Even my very first postings were most agressive. At that time I was involved in a debate with Bharat (who I don't see in the DF these days ???) about whether IR was the greatest MD or not (of all things !). He was as polite as could be and I was as passionate as could be. Yet, there was no name calling or hurt egos. From my forays in the DF, I have found that this is true 95% of the time. I am not supporting the use of foul language. But the freedom to use hard-hitting comments should be ours. We don't do it all the time. And when we do it, we take care to see that "All's well that ends well". It makes the DF more animated and lively.
  
  I have been through an entire cycle of displeasure and mutual respect of opinions with another DF regular - Udhaya. Till date, I don't pull punches when it comes to strong disagreement with him. But that doesn't make him my enemy ! And when I feel that I am stretching things a bit too far, I always take care to see that I explain my position rationally as I am doing right now. Almost all discussions in the DF do a sort of auto-balancing when things go out of hand. Take the case of Vijay, your roomie ! He is a dedicated IR fan. Yet in another thread, I saw him trying to counter lop-sided IR eulogising. Now, which rule in the DF asks him to do that ?
  
  I wish everybody stops saying that foul language should not be used in the DF. Now, who in their right minds would say that foul language should be permitted here ? I know, I didn't ! That is part of the spirit of DF. But strong or caustic remarks are also part of the spirit of DF. I feel we should not try to control that.
  
  Viswa:
  The need to control yourself should come from within. It should not be imposed except under extraordinary circumstances. You find my anxiety to avoid arguments amusing and yet you say that we should know where to draw the line ! If I had continued my tone even after achieving the desired effect, it would have been really rude on my part. That is an act of self-control. I am not trying to avoid an argument. I am only trying to avoid losing focus in my argument. You are at liberty to feel amused by this posting because it is in defense of my defense :-))
  
  
• From: balaji (@ schubert.crhc.uiuc.edu) on: Mon Nov 2 14:52:10 EST 1998
  
  cram:
  "a whole committee seems to be at work here! srinath, u and i are lone voices in the wilderness. as i have already mentioned, there are unwritten rules here and everyone who wants to keep DF a place for clean fun adheres to them. why this need to impose a set of guidelines; too many posters are offering too many ideas to suffocate the atmo here. methinks there is an ingrained tendency to regulate at work here."
  
  i don't know if you had added my name also to this "committee". i have clearly mentioned in my posting that the guideline should only be a set of suggestions and following them should be the poster's discretion. i am not for any regulation or following any strict guideline. i feel that such a scheme is a workable one and we can get all the freedom that we want in our postings. in short, IMHO, the suggestions are no more than the unwritten rules that you have allured to.
  thanks.
  
  
• From: Srinath (@ ss08.nc.us.ibm.com) on: Mon Nov 2 15:26:36 EST 1998
  
  Balaji:
  What cram and I are trying to say is that, if we are mature enough to frame the rules, we are also mature enough to follow them without having to put them down in words. Neither cram nor I are against decency in this forum. We only protest the fact that some here (including you :-)) think it necessary to remind the rest of us. I have not come across a single DF regular who does not follow the unwritten rules here. Why make suggestions that are already in effect ? Your suggestions are prefectly valid. But putting them on paper (or in a posting) ignores the context factor and makes your (or anybody else's) suggestions rigid. Your scheme, IMO, may be viable but is completely unnecessary.
  
  I get the impression that you are against heated debates. But if I come across a discussion that evokes strong feelings in me, I feel there is nothing wrong in responding with a passionate argument. Now, if you ask me to say the same things without the involvement of passion, I can only say that I would not be saying the same things if I were not passionate about it. The two are inseparable at times. Certain things, especially protests, can only be put across in a forceful manner. If I were to tone myself down, I wouldn't even feel like protesting.
  
  To substantiate my point, consider the Dravidian movement topic in the hub. I think you too have participated in it. You realize how sensitive an issue that can be. Then how come there aren't any fights there ? Simple. Because we all know how to conduct ourselves. Cram and I are practically the only ones arguing against putting down any suggestions for regulation on paper. Yet neither of us has lost control of our words. Isn't that proof enough that such regulations are not necessary ?
  
  As a matter of fact, a simple sentence is already in place in the opening page of this forum. It is just one line long and yet it contains the essence of all that has been said so far from your side. Anything more would only turn off people like me and cram.
  
  
• From: SR Kaushik (@ elroy.cs.wisc.edu) on: Mon Nov 2 15:39:38 EST 1998
  
  Srinath: I can agree with you but I have some reservations. I always face this stumbling block: I'm sure there are some people who used to once visit the DF but have now stopped because IMO there was too much voicing against them. I'm not sure if had I been a Deva fan, I would have been as regular a visitor as I am now. That's because the whole atmosphere is loaded against Deva (which BTW, I rather enjoy :-)))
  
  What do you have to say about this?
  
  
• From: balaji (@ schubert.crhc.uiuc.edu) on: Mon Nov 2 15:48:18 EST 1998
  
  srinath: "We only protest the fact that some here (including you:-)) think it necessary to remind the rest of us" , no not the rest of us, but all of us, including myself. if you say that the unwritten rules suffice, then why was this topic started in the first place? probably we should examine that.(probably ramki can throw some light on it).
  
  
• From: balaji (@ schubert.crhc.uiuc.edu) on: Mon Nov 2 15:53:39 EST 1998
  
  srinath: you are right, i too participated in the dravidian movement in the hub( there are no postings in it for the past 20 days). as of then, the postings were mainly the informative ones, about dravidian history. probably the discussion didn't come to a point where there would have been heated debates!!!
  i feel that the approach of posters in the hub is significantly different(too formal??) from the same in the form. this is just an impression i got.
  
  
• From: Srinath (@ ss03.nc.us.ibm.com) on: Mon Nov 2 16:46:41 EST 1998
  
  SR Kaushik:
  You cannot satisfy everybody all the time. I know this is a controversial statement by itself. But I believe in it. Either I say what I think is right, or I don't say anything at all. If the discussions have to be in a way that retains the Deva fans in here, then they'll probably disgust an IR-fan enough to stop participating. The only alternative is for me to speak my mind and for Deva fans to speak theirs too. I have never asked anybody to stop participating in the DF just because his or her discussions are not to my liking. Nor have I stopped participating. If running away is the only way some can solve a problem, the fault (in leaving DF, nothing else) lies with them - not me.
  
  Balaji:
  Ramki is the only one who can answer your query. I don't usually like to second guess people.
  
  BTW, the Dravidian movement thread has a new posting in it that came in yesterday. Tell me Balaji, why didn't the discussion come to a point where there would have been heated debates ? Is it only a lack of interest in the topic, or is it an awareness that the topic itself is very sensitive and no liberties can be taken there ? No, I still feel we shouldn't start preaching to others asking them to behave. It works against my basic principles.
  
  
• From: balaji (@ schubert.crhc.uiuc.edu) on: Mon Nov 2 17:06:29 EST 1998
  
  srinath: thanks for pointing out. i used to check if there were any postings and didn't do for the past couple of days. the discussion didn't come to a point where there would have been heated debates because of reasons i don't know. what u say seems to be the reason, that the awareness that the topic itself is very sensitive and no liberties can be taken there. i myself have strong views on this subject and would love to have a debate on them. but restraint and caution seems to be the immediate thing that crops up in my mind(and in others i guess) and i guess that is what stifled the debate in such issues. but we should remember that the thread was still in its starting stages. if i am right, your last posting was a query on dravida nAdu and leaders not being prepared to rule. as more information and perspectives flow in, i am sure we can have a good discussion.
  
  

---

List all pages of this thread

Post comments